So I’m 38 weeks pregnant today.  I just come from the doctor who told me the baby is not only around 8 lbs, 15oz, but he is also breech.  The first part is not surprising as his brothers were both big boys as well, but breech…yikes.

If this guy doesn’t get into position, I’ll have to have a c-section.  This was not in my plan.  I wanted to go into labor naturally, and have a regular delivery.

This is really disappointing, but I suppose I have to practice what I preach.  I often tell clients who are expecting to make a birth plan, but be ready to throw the whole thing out the window if something changes.  Having a safe birth is far more important than following a birth plan.

Still, it’s going to be so hard to start life as the mother of 3 after having surgery.  Already, I feel guilty about the sacrifices my other two will have to make.  My 8 year old is being forced to share his room with his 3 year old brother until we get a bigger house.  This is not a tragedy, but it’s really annoying for a guy who is used to having his own space.

My 3 year old is not going to know what hit him when the baby comes.  He’s not going to like sharing his mommy with his baby brother.  He’s not going to like that his brother gets to breastfeed and he doesn’t.  He’s not going to like that his brother gets to sleep with mommy and he doesn’t.  He’s not going to like that his brother gets to use a Binky and he doesn’t…the list goes on and on.

If I focused on all that could go wrong, I might lose my mind.  For now, I’ll focus on what I can do.  I’ll talk to the boys about what to expect, and reassure them that they are and always will be loved.

By the way, I haven’t given up on getting the baby to move into a head down position.  I’ll try anything…acupuncture, visualization, headstands, etc.  If you have any suggestions please send them my way.

And at the end of the day, if he’s still breech, I’ll work on acceptance.