Are worry thoughts keeping you up at night and disrupting your day? Do you want to stop them, but you just don’t know how? Try this simple exercise to stop worry thoughts in their tracks.
Ruminating thoughts plague many people with a nonstop string of worries about past mistakes, current stress and future fears. They feel like an engine that keeps revving higher and higher and you can’t seem to take your foot off the gas pedal. These thoughts infiltrate your mind and deceive you into believing that you are working toward a solution to your problems. They make you think you’re doing something to fix the situation, but really you are not solving anything. You are just falling down the rabbit hole of worry and suffering.
Imagine walking through your living room when you hear a news report about the rising numbers of Covid cases, you start to worry about sending your kids back to school, what if they go back and get sick, what if they stay home and fall behind, how will you keep them safe and occupied with your endless stream of zoom meetings, will life ever be back to normal, and on and on until you’ve lost and hour or more of your life to worry.
The Stop skill can help you end the painful habit of ruminating by getting out of your head and getting back to your life.
When you become aware of ruminating/worry thoughts the following steps can change what’s happening in your mind. You will likely have to repeat these steps again and again, and over time the thoughts will become less and less uncomfortable and intrusive. Be patient. Remember change is hard so do your best with judging yourself.
STOP SKILL
STOP
When you become aware of the ruminating/worry thoughts stop! Don’t react. Don’t judge.
Take a step back.
Take a deep breath. Remember that worry thoughts don’t help they only create more suffering. If there is a problem to solve you must wait to address it when you are calm and centered. When you are stuck in a ruminating/worry cycle you are in what is referred to in DBT as emotion mind. You’re acting on your emotions and your unable to think clearly. nothing gets resolved or figured you must wait until you’re calm and centered in wise mind to problem solve.
OBSERVE
Notice what is going on. Are you in a stressful situation? What is going on around you? Are you tired? Hungry? Anxious? Do a body scan. Are you holding tension in your body? Or is ruminating just your mind’s fallback position? Take a few breaths and remind yourself of your current goals. Are the thoughts interrupting work, sleep, relaxation, other activities? Refocus your attention on what you need or want to engage in right now.
PROCEED MINDFULLY
Act with awareness. Remind yourself that WORRYING DOES NOT HELP and PROBLEMS WON’T BE SOLVED BY RUMINATING no matter what your mind and body tell you. Make a note to revisit the problem you’re worried about when you’re in a calm relaxed state. Think about what needs to be done today, in this moment, and move forward with that in mind.
You may have to repeat this cycle again and again as ruminating is likely a long-term habit. Don’t judge yourself for ruminating. It’s a default setting for your mind right now and you are working to change it so be gentle with yourself. Change is hard. As humans we are creatures of habit not creatures of change. If you would like to learn more DBT skills or you if you need further guidance reach out to me. I’d be happy to help. For an audio version of this post listen to A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice, The Stop Skill.