- Teens and young adults need about 9 hours of sleep per night (compared to 7.5 to 8 for adults), but they get on average 6.9 hours of sleep per night.- According to Dr. Mary Carskadon, adolescent sleep expert at Brown University Medical School, “the same part of the brain that was working when the teens were learning their new skills continues to rehearse and practice when the students sleep. The brain consolidates and improves on what they have just learned…” - The difference between students who get C’s, D’s and F’s go to bed about 40 minutes later and get 25 minutes less sleep than those student’s who get A’s and B’s. - As they mature adolescents experience a phase shift during puberty. The teens who are starting to look like adults fall asleep two hours later than younger children or less mature looking teens. So when your teen tells you he or she can’t fall asleep until 10 or 11pm, they are telling the truth. - One possible reason for this is that the brains sensitivity to light changes during adolescence. Dr. Carskadon has research findings showing that those in middle or late puberty exposed to even dim light in the evening delayed melatonin secretion. This was not true for those in early stages of puberty. - The use of electronics (computer, TV, cell-phone (texting)) right before bed can make it difficult to fall asleep because looking at the screens on these devices is like shining a flashlight into your eyes. For the older teens who are particularly sensitive to light this is especially true. - According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, drowsiness and fatigue cause more than 100,000 traffic accidents each year and young drivers are at the wheel in more than half of these crashes.
IT'S NOT PERSONAL IT'S ADOLESCENCE: A Parent’s Guide for Surviving Teen Mood Swings
An adolescent brain is developing at about the same rate a 2 year old brain develops. Additionally, due to school hours, activities and homework most teens don’t get enough sleep so adolescence is like the terrible two’s the second time around, but this time in a sleep deprived state. Try to look at your teen’s outbursts, insults, etc. like toddler tantrums. They are caused by spikes in anger when any slight is even perceived. During these spikes he or she is literally not thinking straight. You may notice that 30 minutes later (or less) he or she will likely be fine…as if nothing happened. This occurs because the teen has cooled down and returned to an emotional baseline. Just as with toddler tantrums these outburst are not about you and shouldn’t be taken personally. Of course, not taking it personally is easier said than done. So the real question is how not to take it personally? Here some tips:
Practice, practice, practice. Remind yourself everyday that this is a developmental phase not a personal assault on you…no matter how good he or she gets a pushing your buttons.
Vent. Just because it’s not personal does not mean it’s not uncomfortable. Talk to your partner, talk to a family member, talk to a friend or talk to a therapist to help put things in perspective.
Use what he or she gives you. The pain that you are feeling can inform you about what is going on within your teen’s mind. That rage, hopelessness, frustration, fear, etc. will give you a picture of the turmoil your teen is feeling. Hopefully, this will allow you to be more empathetic and less hurt or angry.
Don’t engage. When your teen starts to yell, say hurtful things, be disrespectful don’t reciprocate. You don’t want to say something you will regret.
Consequences. There should be consequence for negative (and positive) behavior. This helps to empower you as a parent and it helps your teen know what to expect. (see my tips on creating consequences for assistance in this area).
Seek help. If your teen’s outburst seem unusually frequent or intense. If his or her behavior has changed significantly in a short amount of time. If you’ve noticed changes in eating or sleeping habits, decreased interest in previously enjoyed activities, change in friends, increase isolation, etc. Trust your instincts and seek professional help.