Today in my quest to stave off seasonal depression I did something that I’ve been doing for years…I had therapy. I saw a new therapist. She’s someone who is psychoanalytically trained and I’m looking forward to working from this new perspective. One that looks beyond the necessary day to day skills for creating a life worth living (like the skills I teach in DBT) and examines what’s underneath. What are the subconscious motivators controlling actions, emotions, and thoughts? I’m excited to start this new journey. And again, I encourage you to do the same. If you struggle with depression, anxiety, trauma, etc. Find competent treaters who you trust and collaborate with them. Go to your appointments, do the homework, take the medications. It’s so important to do the things that work. I’m not saying follow your treaters suggestions without question or understanding, but when you agree to a treatment plan follow it.
If you’re like me there is a great deal of shame and guilt surrounding mental health treatment. This was especially true when I was younger. I spent years feeling like my depression was a character flaw. The thing is depression, anxiety and old trauma lie to you. They tell you “Taking meds is weakness.” “This therapy is too hard.” “You’re never going to get any better.” Or if you’re feeling good, “Maybe you don’t really need this medication.” I often wonder if I can function effectively off the medications. I do. I don’t like the idea of having to take a pill daily for the rest of my life. And I like being depressed a lot less. Psychiatric medications are not like anti-biotics where you don’t need them once the infection is gone. The reason you are likely feeling better is because the medications are doing their job.
I love what, Glennon Doyle, fellow bad ass survivor wrote: “Take your goddamn meds and don’t listen to anybody (or yourself) who tries to shame you out of them. They just don’t know- because they don’t have to know. They are two-legged men calling prostheses a crutch. They will not be there in the dark with you. They won’t. Ignore their reckless judgment. Bite the freaking bullet and swallow the damn pills. I think of my medicine like I do my faith- if I find out one day that it’s all bullshit- oh, well. It made me happy and helped me love life and my people better.”
Take the pills, do the therapy, exercise, eat right…whatever works to reduce your suffering because while pain is an inevitable part of life. Suffering is not.